Don't Hit a Girl

When my dad was in 3rd or 4th grade, he was old enough to have heard from his dad many times to "never hit a girl". So, one day when he was outside of the school, a girl named Gwen was standing near him and he said something to her. He doesn’t remember what it was exactly. Probably something crude, he said, and she hauled off and slapped him in the face! He was in shock, but said to her, "I can’t hit you" – thinking back to those words his father shared with him. "Oh really?" she said and she slapped him again. Well, now it was starting to hurt and he was getting upset, but again he replied, "I can’t hit you". Every time he said this, she’d slap him and he said she must have slapped him 5-6 times before walking away. The crowd around them had gathered and were taunting him. Mortified that he was just beat up by a girl – in front of a crowd of his peers, he walked home crying. When he got home, he burst through the front door, "I can’t believe you told me not to hit a girl!!" he railed at his dad. Somehow thinking if he could blame his dad for getting himself beat up by a girl that it would seem better somehow. "Well, get back out there and hit her back" he heard his dad say. Really? he thought? Wow. So, he went outside and waited in the bushes for her to walk past. He told himself that when she walked past, he would jump out of the bushes, beat her up, and run away. It was a perfect plan. He continued talking to himself, getting himself all ready for his sweet revenge. That is, until he realized a good hour or two had passed, the sun was setting, and she had never walked by. He realized that his revenge would never come and he finally resigned himself to go home, once again defeated. He never did get revenge on Gwen. But, knowing that she was a good foot taller and several pounds heavier than he was, it was probably for the best that he kept his distance. No sense in getting beat up by a girl twice!